XLGPP
05-17-2003, 07:15 AM
> > 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
> > 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very
> > often.
> > 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
> > standing
> > in a garage makes you a car.
> > 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> > 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
> > never
> > tried before.
> > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
> > serious.
> > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.
> > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
> > program.
> > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
> > the
> > trip.
> > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
> > checks.
> > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts
> > feel so
> > good.
> > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
> > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it!
> > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
> > the
> > waist change places.
> > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away
> > three weeks
> > before you need it.
> > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
> > recognize a
> > mistake when you make it again.
> > 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> > 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to
> > the real
> > world.
> > 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat
> > 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very
> > often.
> > 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
> > standing
> > in a garage makes you a car.
> > 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> > 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
> > never
> > tried before.
> > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
> > serious.
> > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.
> > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
> > program.
> > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
> > the
> > trip.
> > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
> > checks.
> > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts
> > feel so
> > good.
> > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
> > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it!
> > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
> > the
> > waist change places.
> > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away
> > three weeks
> > before you need it.
> > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
> > recognize a
> > mistake when you make it again.
> > 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> > 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to
> > the real
> > world.
> > 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat