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AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 09:16 AM
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy
all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I send you a f**king book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least
HE can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can
do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid Mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give
up that dream. Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,
a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid Francis, nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me
a bottle of scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail
waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you
wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself Marky, that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house,
you live in a low-rent project. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

spectratoad
12-11-2003, 09:38 AM
Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really REALLY want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more ****ing fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
Santa
:eek!:

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 09:41 AM
Good one.

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 09:47 AM
well i asked santa for some boobs and i got them with no problem he just said he had to feel them .. :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 09:53 AM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
well i asked santa for some boobs and i got them with no problem he just said he had to feel them .. :D
Santa needs to inspect the toys. The last thing he needs is a faulty toy out there, then comes the law suit.
Just call me SantaBoogie...

spectratoad
12-11-2003, 10:02 AM
Originally posted by AquaBoogie
Santa needs to inspect the toys. The last thing he needs is a faulty toy out there, then comes the law suit.
Just call me SantaBoogie...
The elves need to inspect too, after all we are the front line of the boob er I mean toy process.

Kilrtoy
12-11-2003, 10:09 AM
That is a straight up santa

beer hunter
12-11-2003, 10:12 AM
http://www.lasvegas***boats.com/iB_html/uploads/post-2-86687-santa_jessica.jpg
:D

beer hunter
12-11-2003, 10:13 AM
:D http://www.lasvegas***boats.com/iB_html/uploads/post-2-86786-santa_susan_1_.jpg

beer hunter
12-11-2003, 10:13 AM
http://www.lasvegas***boats.com/iB_html/uploads/post-2-86868-santa_thomas.jpg

beer hunter
12-11-2003, 10:14 AM
http://www.lasvegas***boats.com/iB_html/uploads/post-2-86954-santa_timmy.jpg

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:15 AM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
That is a straight up santa
Santa's elf will be straight up during the inspection.

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:17 AM
LMAO!! then i can inspect your nicely wrapped packages for anything missing.. :D :D :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:19 AM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
LMAO!! then i can inspect your nicely wrapped packages for anything missing.. :D :D :D
The packages will be wrapped in underwear...

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:22 AM
i prefer just a great big red bow.. :D :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:27 AM
Santa can do a red bow. It matches the the big fury jacket. And if you are a really good little girl, I think he'll even make the bow edible.

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:29 AM
yummy yummy for the tummy.. i've been good because i got my presents early.. :D :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:37 AM
You're mistaken. The presents were for Mr. FV and for the rest of us to admire.

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:39 AM
LMAO!! so true.. but just for the record it was my choice and he didn't hesitate.. :D :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:43 AM
Nor did I. My wife got hers just over three weeks ago. I used reverse psychology on her. When she mentioned the possibility of getting them. I told her they were a lot of money, but if she really wanted them to go ahead. Because I couldn't argue with her since I got the boat.
Now I have the new boat and new twins.... Yippie

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:45 AM
so now your really Mr Happy.. how is she doin.. i know the first few days were hell for her.. :D

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:49 AM
She pretty much slept through the first few days. She's doing a lot better now though. I just wish I could have talked her into some double D's. :eek: x:eek:

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 10:51 AM
how big did she go.. ? i went to a small D :eek: :eek:

AquaBoogie
12-11-2003, 10:58 AM
She went to a full C. The doctor said that was the most they could do right now. I believe she got 320cc's. She got just enough to help the puppies stand up. They got a little too relaxed after two kids.

MRS FLYIN VEE
12-11-2003, 11:01 AM
yah mine dissappeared after my kids i got 480cc's and i think the bigger you go the more pain because of the stretching of the skin.. as long as she and you are happy that is all that matters.. i only weigh about 115 and any bigger i wouldn't need a life jacket.. plus it would not look proportioned .. :D