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View Full Version : Darwinisms? No, But They're In Training



Wet Dream
12-27-2003, 07:31 AM
8. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership, and paid him a $26 million severance package.
7. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
6. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
5. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
4. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the line up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man sneered, "that's not what I said."
3. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man dialed 911 and spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
2. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (helloooo!)
1. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath . He came up choking on water from laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was its trailer.

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 07:37 AM
Originally posted by Wet Dream
1. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath . He came up choking on water from laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was its trailer. [/B]
:D :D :D LOL!
Did the Bayliner people laugh when they heard this?( assuming said craft was a Bayliner):D :D :D

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 08:29 AM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
:D :D :D LOL!
Did the Bayliner people laugh when they heard this?( assuming said craft was a Bayliner):D :D :D
Why are (most) people that buy Bayliners such knuckleheads? Unfortunately we have a very large Bayliner Dealer here in Folsom, so the lake is full of em...:rolleyes: Most have no clue how to operate a boat. :rolleyes: :p

anxious
12-27-2003, 08:38 AM
1. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath . He came up choking on water from laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was its trailer.
you got to be effing kidding me

anxious
12-27-2003, 08:39 AM
these people need to be removed from the gene pool

JetBoatRich
12-27-2003, 08:44 AM
I have heard the story before, figured it was an old wives tale. Never heard it was Lake Isabella.:(

Backtanner
12-27-2003, 09:16 AM
So according to this they disconnected the trailer from the tow vehicle at the ramp or was still attached too? I guess I'm not buying it but it's still kinda funny.

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:17 AM
I saw one attempt at the Darwin award myself just before Christmas. I was turning Left on to the main drag just before you turn into my development and here comes a PU truck with a fridge on a dolly in the back flying over the crown of the intersection trying to make the green light. It seems that the guy didn't have any straps to strap the fridge down in the back so he asked his friend to RIDE IN THE BACK TO STEADY IT! The guys eyes were big as saucers, and he was damn lucky he didn't fly out the back at 45...:rolleyes:

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:19 AM
Originally posted by Backtanner
So according to this they disconnected the trailer from the tow vehicle at the ramp or was still attached too? I guess I'm not buying it but it's still kinda funny.
Yeah, normally you would be able to see the trailer under the boat in the water...sounds fishy....

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
Why are (most) people that buy Bayliners such knuckleheads? Unfortunately we have a very large Bayliner Dealer here in Folsom, so the lake is full of em...:rolleyes: Most have no clue how to operate a boat. :rolleyes: :p We'll You'd have to be an Idiot to buy a boat that's made by a bowling ball Company(Brunswick)!:D But seriously, I'd rather have a Bayliner then nothing at all. I'd even but a Bayliner before I bought a PWC. Some folks can't afford the customs like were used to seeing here, and capping on someone's boat is like kicking their dog, or calling their kid names. So i try and refrain from that for the most part.:cool:

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by titties and beer
THAT WOULD BE A REAL BITCH COMING IN TO THE RAMP:D :D :jawdrop:
might have to get back a ways and take a run at the ramp...:D

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
We'll You'd have to be an Idiot to buy a boat that's made by a bowling ball Company(Brunswick)!:D But seriously, I'd rather have a Bayliner then nothing at all. I'd even but a Bayliner before I bought a PWC. Some folks can't afford the customs like were used to seeing here, and capping on someone's boat is like kicking their dog, or calling their kid names. So i try and refrain from that for the most part.:cool:
You can easily buy a decent used custom for what one of those POSs cost new. Sorry I HATE Bayliners and no I would NEVER own one...
And I don't like their dog or their kids anyway....;)

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 09:41 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
You can easily buy a decent used custom for what one of those POSs cost new. Sorry I HATE Bayliners and no I would NEVER own one...
And I don't like their dog or their kids anyway....;)
NAZI!!!:D

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:42 AM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
NAZI!!!:D
Jawol!

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
Jawol! :)

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:47 AM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
:)
Doc Eagle in action...
http://www.hogansheroesfanclub.com/images/photoKlinkMotocycle.gif

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 09:54 AM
Here is a pic of myself with my best buddy...
http://www.hogansheroesfanclub.com/images/photoKlinkOnSimpsons.gif

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 09:58 AM
SIEG HEIL! Conformast Scum!!!:D :D :D

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 10:08 AM
Jawol Commarade...
Vee hef Vays to zink your Bayliner...

anxious
12-27-2003, 10:11 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
I saw one attempt at the Darwin award myself just before Christmas. I was turning Left on to the main drag just before you turn into my development and here comes a PU truck with a fridge on a dolly in the back flying over the crown of the intersection trying to make the green light. It seems that the guy didn't have any straps to strap the fridge down in the back so he asked his friend to RIDE IN THE BACK TO STEADY IT! The guys eyes were big as saucers, and he was damn lucky he didn't fly out the back at 45...:rolleyes:
were you visiting the 909:D

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 10:12 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
Jawol Commarade...
Vee hef Vays to zink your Bayliner...
Ha Ha Ha!!!:D :D :D ROTFLMAO!!!!!:D :D :D
Ver are shyour Bayliner Papers?

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 10:48 AM
Originally posted by anxious
were you visiting the 909:D
Who knows, maybe they were transplants from the 909...;)

Kachina26
12-27-2003, 10:51 AM
what about picking on their football team:D :D
Always open season!

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 11:01 AM
Well, one thing is for sure...
I know.. (http://www.hogansheroesfanclub.com/multimedia/sounds/schultzIKnowNothingISeeNothingAndISayNothing.wav)
:D

LASERRAY
12-27-2003, 11:03 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
Jawol Commarade...
Vee hef Vays to zink your Bayliner... NAZI SWINE!!!:D

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 11:08 AM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
NAZI SWINE!!!:D Jag und yer Point>>>?

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 11:27 AM
immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (http://www.the-earchives.com/wavs/h/hogan006.wav)

Dr. Eagle
12-27-2003, 11:38 AM
I guess it is time to quit, can't get this damn link to work.........:mad:

Kilrtoy
12-27-2003, 12:14 PM
Was that TOPLESS and the 909 crew out for a day of fun in the sun.....