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FMluvswater
02-05-2004, 09:58 AM
Got this in an e-mail. I thought it was a little harsh. ;) :D
****
Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.
Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are
responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
(See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)
Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Her454
02-05-2004, 10:13 AM
Harsh, maybe. But true.:D

roostwear
02-05-2004, 10:18 AM
Actually, I find this right on the money. I guess people that want to be their children's friends (instead of a parent) won't agree. The best thing I can do for my children is to prepare them to succeed in the REAL world, not the one the schools created.
Thanks for posting it.

spectratoad
02-05-2004, 10:30 AM
Nice one FM. I had to send that to my ex since it seems her step daughter is giving her and her husband a run for their money.

Keithb87
02-05-2004, 10:55 AM
Right On :D :D

Dave C
02-05-2004, 11:51 AM
so true....

HighRoller
02-05-2004, 12:26 PM
I'm actually scared thinking about having kids. The behavior of the spoiled, disrespectful little brats I see every day is sickening! The only thing worse is the spineless parents who let them become that way. I can't even fathom telling my parents that my room is my "private space" and that since I'm 15 I can "make my own decisions". They would have told me that I could have private space and make my own decisions as soon as I turned 18. End of discussion.

Tremor Therapy
02-05-2004, 12:41 PM
I have 2 teenage daughters (15 and 17) and you have no idea how much of that is soooooo f%#*ing true! Try having a discussion with your daughter, have her curse at you, and then when you inform her if she ever addresses you like that again you will slap her face.......only to hear your daughter threaten you by telling you "if you ever touch her, she will call CPS and let them know how long you have been abusing her!"
WTF?:mad: I don't know when the world took a left turn, but both of these girls were model students all the way through middle school. I don't know what happened, but I do know that if I would have cursed at my dad, I would have been going to school the next day with a hole in my smile!

HighRoller
02-05-2004, 12:59 PM
Damn, I can't even imagine that. You should have said" you're right. I am a bad parent." Then dial the CPS number and hand her the phone. Tell her to pack up all of HER belongings and spend a few nights at the CPS shelter. No more phone, TV, nice boat vacations or good food. Most likely she'll change her tune. A friend of mine's son told her that the household rules were B.S. one day and she told him with a straight face that they were going to the courthouse first thing in the morning to get him emanicipated since he wanted to make his own rules. He straightened up in a hurry!

JustMVG
02-05-2004, 01:58 PM
Thanks FM for getting this put up, i am going to make a poster of it and put it in each one of my 3 girls rooms.
Tremor i am going thru the same thing with my middle Step daughter, she's totally out of control when it comes to "it's not fair" , i have never spanked or hit or touched my girls in anger or to discipline them, if i even thought to do it or made a remark to the fact that if she were mine i would have spanked the tar outta her, she pulls the "your not my dad" BS and threatens to call CPS or her "real" dad, i just step back and let her scream, it is tough some times, oh well i'll stop my rant here, but you get the idea, it isn't easy being the Step Parent, and i do the best i can, the folks i have met from the boards and have met my girls know that they are good kids and love the heck out of me as i do them, but we all have our moments.
Take care everyone Mike VG

spectratoad
02-05-2004, 02:09 PM
Tremor,
I think that I would start recording what you say and the respnses or better yet hidden video and get them acting that way a few times, ask them when they reply if you have ever hit them in the past etc... and get it all recorded. When it does come to the day that you do let loose and slap them, and yes I am sure you will get there just show that recording to them and see if they still want to call CPS.
My boys are on 10 & 12 and I hope we never get to the disrespectful teenager part. I am sure it will happen sometime though.

SERIOUS ISSUES
02-05-2004, 02:22 PM
the sad thing is I was investigated for spanking my son after he had kept getting in trouble at school (he was 6). It was the first time I had done it.
he started doing better in school and then I started getting calls and someone wanted to interview me and my son. I told them to come on over. 2 months later my son made a comment about burning somethin while he was at school. I was called into the office to talk about it. I told them I dont want to here it, they dont like the way I disiplin my child they can do it.
I dont care what anyone say's, time out doesn't work. I have a pretty good kid now and it's because he know's when he gets home it could be more than NO PLAYSTATION!
after the above I decided to not have anymore kids. just not worth other people telling you how to raise them but you being responsible for there actions,

Warlock28
02-05-2004, 03:19 PM
Don't get me started!!!
17 yearold female out of control!!
:mad: :mad: :mad:

Tremor Therapy
02-05-2004, 04:01 PM
Originally posted by spectratoad
Tremor,
I think that I would start recording what you say and the respnses or better yet hidden video and get them acting that way a few times, ask them when they reply if you have ever hit them in the past etc... and get it all recorded. When it does come to the day that you do let loose and slap them, and yes I am sure you will get there just show that recording to them and see if they still want to call CPS.
My boys are on 10 & 12 and I hope we never get to the disrespectful teenager part. I am sure it will happen sometime though.
Okay, I need to rant a little as well............Oh the trials and tribulations! We have already been down the road of CPS! 2 years ago, I get a call at work, "hi this is Mrs. So-and-so, and we need to schedule at appointment this evening." I inquire as to the "need" for this appointment, and I am told that someone has "reported" me to CPS as a "raging child abuser."
So, the gal comes out for the "interview (interrogation)"...... and it is only then that I find out that they have taken all of my kids out of school, interviewed each of them....in secret, without my permission, and then they were all told that they could not discuss this with me or my wife at all. WTF!
So the gal continues her interrogation, and I allow her to go through the house with a fine tooth comb. Unfortunately I am friggin pissed so I let it fly...right in her face! Well she takes 3 pages of notes, takes pictures, etc., and then leaves.
Well we don't hear from them for 2 days, and I am sweating bullets, and for absolutely no reason! Well on the third day the lady calls back....."I'm sorry you had to go through this sir, but we are not only going to close the case, but we are going to drop it all together." So I inquire as to why, because CPS never closes anything, and she tells me...quote! "It seems like daughter X didn't like being put on a months restriction for having a friend call in sick for her when she cut school a week back."
No shit! She didn't like getting put on a months restriction for cutting class, and lying about it....so she gets a friend to call CPS, and "anonymously" report me as a child abuser!!!!!! I don't wish this on any of you, but I did find out one very important tid-bit of information. If you do have a child at home that is out of control, call CPS yourself, and ask them what you can do. The one thing I will say about that gal in hindsight is that she did leave her card, and told me that if we had any further issues with daughter X, give her a call......parents do have rights!!!!!!!!!

HighRoller
02-05-2004, 04:25 PM
Damn, that's harsh. But I've always found(as a child and uncle) that creativity will repay these kids nicely and teach them a lesson. It would have been hilarious if you stayed at a friend's house or a hotel one of those nights then have your wife tell daughter X you got locked up for child abuse based on what she said. Now the house, the boat and the cars will have to be sold and they'll be living in a shack! Would that be a good payback for her little stunt?

Coach
02-05-2004, 07:30 PM
As a teacher of teenagers I love the above comments. Don't think all of us are a bunch a left wing democrats who don't have common sense. Many teachers, more so in OC, are right wingers who would love to see corporal punishment come back.
I love giving teenagers a hard time about the "not fair issue" I always ask to see their card they were issued at birth. F***** self esteem!!! I let them know day one I don't care about self esteem, it is something earned by doing good things not just lip service for doing nothing.
As for talking back some of the little bastards try to and I am 6'1 225 lbs and a coach. They get my coaches voice (very very loud) and me in their face and I always remind them that they are rude. My favorite is to tell them I hope their parents don't allow them to talk like that at home and if they do I let them know their parents should be slapped.
The level of disrespectful students has gotten worse in the last few years. We have let the psychologists and democrats tell us what is best for our students and it is a huge failure.
Don't get me wrong every kid does need encouragement and told they are doing a good job when it is deserved, but not other wise. They also need to be told what is right and wrong. They will always justify why their actions no matter how wrong. I just tell them that if you do (cheat, drugs, lie, etc) you are a scum bag loser. If you do the right thing morally and have some character you are a great person. It is not that hard!
I guess my favorite example right now of what a wonderful job education is doing is the American Idol show. I love the first days of the show, notice how many individuals between the ages of 16-22 where the biggest complainers and could not accept criticism that they are not any good. They have been pumped so full of the self-esteem BS that the actually think they are good. It is by far the best example of outright failure for the self esteem camp.
Don't get on me about the American Idol thing, I know you all were watching especially the "She Bangs, She Bangs" Asian guy who what funnier that sh**.

framer1
02-05-2004, 08:29 PM
I read that before, I always thought Bill Gates wrote it. At least that what I heard.

AzDon
02-06-2004, 09:19 AM
My 20 year old daughter has always been level-headed and respectful of adults, but was never timid about resolving misunderstandings with teachers, directly and thoughtfully. We never had a bit of "rebellious teen" problems with her. She graduated third in her class, and will graduate from UofA one semester early, next winter.
My son Nick is also a respectful, scholarly young man who just turned 16. He is tied for first in his class and recently was sought and offerred a job in the software development department of a cutting-edge credit reporting company that intends to have him work on projects that they couldn't find adults that were qualified to do.
I have done nothing extraordinary to deserve kids like this... just demonstrated by example what a hard day's work and financial expectations looks like to blue collar people, and that the only shortcut to a reasonable adult income is a good education!
I HAVE demonstrated my backing for them by fighting teachers and administrators on EVERY OCCASION that they have been unable to resolve for themselves, an episode where they have been treated unfairly, even at personal risk of appearing petty to other adults! I haven't always won, but my kids know that I will back them, with lawyers, if necessary! They also are smart enough to save the proclamation that something "isn't fair" for issues that truly aren't! Any time I've had the "not fair" card pulled on me without proper grounds, I've gone to great lengths to familiarize them with the other side of the argument, and why, fairness works against them this time. They know that their dad is "all about the fairness" and will go down in flames fighting for them if they are right!

HighRoller
02-06-2004, 10:04 AM
The saddest thing I see about shows like American Idol is the mentality of these people. They show up unprepared, with a horrible voice,and then are crushed or outraged that the judges didn't just sign the check over to them on the spot. The reality shows are a horrible example for our kids because they teach them about getting rich easily, which is a fantasy. They are NOT going to get rich winning a reality show or the lottery, and on the off chance that they did receive a windfall of that size they would blow it quickly because they are neither mature nor prepared enough to manage that kind of money responsibly.

toofastworlock28
09-24-2006, 04:33 PM
:mad: i am not that spoiled because i have to work for what my dad (worlock28) has i do lawns an wash cars.

RitcheyRch
09-24-2006, 04:41 PM
My Daughter is 16 and does the same thing.
I have 2 teenage daughters (15 and 17) and you have no idea how much of that is soooooo f%#*ing true! Try having a discussion with your daughter, have her curse at you, and then when you inform her if she ever addresses you like that again you will slap her face.......only to hear your daughter threaten you by telling you "if you ever touch her, she will call CPS and let them know how long you have been abusing her!"
WTF?:mad: I don't know when the world took a left turn, but both of these girls were model students all the way through middle school. I don't know what happened, but I do know that if I would have cursed at my dad, I would have been going to school the next day with a hole in my smile!

3 daytona`s
09-24-2006, 04:52 PM
I`m playing devils advocate on this one,The saddest statement I ever heard was a young girl having a public argument with her mother saying I Never Asked To Be Born.Parent both working to buy boats,cars,lifted carts,now not good enough need a lifted Rhino. A newer boat now, A new house, A house in Havasau.The newest,latest.best. The stress,pressure to keep juggling everything now when with a turn down everyone is on edge. The fact of children swearing at or in their parents presence that is your fault for ever letting that start.Families sitting down for an evening meal turn off TV and asking everyone how their day was etc. I have read countless threads on here about how society has gone down the tube,it all begins with FAMILY. A very wise man told me years ago the children can learn at home,or they will learn at school,in the military, or in PRISON. I`m not judging any one on here, but look at the kids side the pressure on them I would not trade for anything even with all the wonderful advancements in our life.

slowinhavasu
09-24-2006, 05:14 PM
I'm no poster parent by any means.....
That's not fair ......Reply.....lifes not fair , get over it .....
Call the feds...Reply...If I'm going to jail, I will beat you by the time they get here...
I take a lot of pride in talking to my kids like adults sense they were kids...I do have a habit of dealing with them like a business problem...
I D the problem, find out how to fix it, execute salution.....
Honesty is another big issue NEVER lie to me and I'll back you 100%, be it at school or other wise.....
I worked for the school district when we first moved here, the kids have no respect....In most cases it's the parents, lack of parenting...
My other big issue, I'm your parent , not your friend...that's comes after you move out..... Take care all.......love your kids....

ThongMagnet
09-24-2006, 05:27 PM
There are ways to get even with your kids when they act up. Just don't let them know your getting even.
Pretend you lost your job, and you have no more money. Tell them they need to help out, and you found them a job at burger king.
Next time you go shopping, don't by anything they like to eat.
Flush the toilet every time they take a shower. (You can do this every day).
Don't wash their favorite clothes (leave them in the clothes hamper, and say you forgot)
Replace their nice pillows with hard lumpy pillows...don't let them know you did this.
When they get older, let them know what you did :idea:
Get the point...Just don't let them know you are punishing them.

slink
09-24-2006, 05:27 PM
I was actually going to start a similar thread untill I saw this. 14 yr old step son (dad is not in the picture) was asking me what is "Homecoming" in HS. I proceed to tell him. The following week, his Mom tells me that he asked a girl to Homecoming dance. No BFD. So I asked him if he had called the girl's father to introduce himself, since he will be taking his daughter out. He say's, "We don't do that these days". I said, "What, show respect?"(BTW, my old man made me call ever girl's dad in HS before we went out). I kinda let it slide, but will probably make him do it. Then he proceeds to tell me they are taking a limo. Cool, who's paying. "We are splitting it". Where is your $$ coming from. Of course, "You". Fast forward to this weekend. Got called out Thursday/Friday, so I'm dead tired to do some much needed yard work(weeds) on 1/2 acre. I make short talk w/ him that it is a good way to earn some $$. No response. So I end up calling a day laborer that has done work for me in the past. Bust his azz for 8 hours and walks away with some $$$. The whole time my step son doesn't offer to help. After he is done, I asked my step son if his date likes Hispanic day laborers. He says, "I don't get it". I replied, "Maybe your date can roll w/ Pedro since he has the limo money". Boy was he pissed. I told him maybe he could roll up on his bike, But I'll be damned if he ain't gonna earn it.

SmokinLowriderSS
09-24-2006, 05:45 PM
Damn, I can't even imagine that. You should have said" you're right. I am a bad parent." Then dial the CPS number and hand her the phone. Tell her to pack up all of HER belongings and spend a few nights at the CPS shelter. No more phone, TV, nice boat vacations or good food. Most likely she'll change her tune. A friend of mine's son told her that the household rules were B.S. one day and she told him with a straight face that they were going to the courthouse first thing in the morning to get him emanicipated since he wanted to make his own rules. He straightened up in a hurry!
Yep, only way to deal with them when they get "uppity" and decide to pull the "trump card" of a CPS call, is send them to CPS. Call the bluff, and don't hesitate one instant longer than it takes to locate the phone number. Give them the number (and the phone), dial the phone for them, whatever gets it through to them that YOU are in charge and will not be bullied by some child's BS.
That's a great list FM, Thx.

My Man's Sportin' Wood
09-24-2006, 06:02 PM
Thanks, FM. Our daughter turns 14 in 7 days. I'll slip this in her b-day card :D

My Man's Sportin' Wood
09-24-2006, 06:08 PM
Yep, only way to deal with them when they get "uppity" and decide to pull the "trump card" of a CPS call, is send them to CPS. Call the bluff, and don't hesitate one instant longer than it takes to locate the phone number. Give them the number (and the phone), dial the phone for them, whatever gets it through to them that YOU are in charge and will not be bullied by some child's BS.
That's a great list FM, Thx.
That reminds me of a story. Does anyone remember when the kid in Florida divorced his parents about 7-8 years ago? My daughter was about 6 or 7 and we were in the car driving along and I was on her case about something. She said, "I heard there's a boy who the judge said could get a new mom and dad if he wanted to." Without hesitation, I SLAMMED on the breaks and told her if she wanted a new mom and dad she could just open that door and get out of the car to go find one." She was so shocked she almost started crying (for a split second I felt bad, but I got over it :D ). Then said that she was only saying what she had heard. That was the end of that crap.
Another year or two, I'll probably be wishing she took me up one it. :argue:
Honestly, she's a great kid. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Throttle
09-24-2006, 06:16 PM
too late to pass any of this info on to my 17 year old daughter... she already knows it all!

ratso
09-24-2006, 06:16 PM
I lucked out with one child... about to be 24.
Hopefully my grandson will turn out just as well...

centerhill condor
09-24-2006, 06:22 PM
how did the gov't get into the child rearing business? straight socialism! we were sooo much better off before the feds got into the education business! Dick Nixon was right! where do we go from here?

JetBoatRich
09-24-2006, 07:28 PM
Having an older Teenager at home :mad: we live this :rolleyes:

SJP
09-24-2006, 07:37 PM
Grew up on a farm in upstate NY....
* What is CPS? What do they really do? Jurisdiction?
* Are rules or ramifications different from AZ to CA?
Read the whole thread and looking for specifics - 28 years old and wife wants children. This thread is buying me time...
SJP

squirt'nmyload
09-24-2006, 07:52 PM
There are ways to get even with your kids when they act up. Just don't let them know your getting even.
Pretend you lost your job, and you have no more money. Tell them they need to help out, and you found them a job at burger king.
Next time you go shopping, don't by anything they like to eat.
Flush the toilet every time they take a shower. (You can do this every day).
Don't wash their favorite clothes (leave them in the clothes hamper, and say you forgot)
Replace their nice pillows with hard lumpy pillows...don't let them know you did this.
When they get older, let them know what you did :idea:
Get the point...Just don't let them know you are punishing them.
rotflmfao http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/squirtnmyload/hysterical.gif
especially the the toilet one!!!!!