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Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:03 PM
Bring it on.......... I've made the official change over to Rev. Williams on the boards and it's now time for me to do some healing around here.
So release those sins and start this coming summer clean and ready to sin again :D :D :D
This is to confirm that
Rev. WILLIAMS
GRANADA HILLS CA 91344-6238
has been ordained as a minister of the
Universal Life Church, Modesto, California.
Date of Ordination: 4/8/2002
by Kevin Andrews, Pastor
www.ulc.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONGRATULATIONS and WELCOME to Rev. WILLIAMS !!
Your request for ordination has been processed, and you are now an ordained
minister of the Universal Life Church in Modesto, California! Please
record the above date of ordination for your records, as you may need this
information in the future to fill out the various forms of the clergy.
If you were ordained previously, the above date will constitute a valid
date upon which you were RE-ordained. Ordination is for life, without
price, and without question of your specific beliefs. You do NOT need to
pay any tithe, donation, or offering of any kind, now or in the future.
Ordinations are individually reviewed and forwarded to Universal Life
Church International Headquarters in Modesto, California, where it will be
recorded in the permanent church records.
As a minister, you are authorized by the church to perform the rites and
ceremonies of the church (except circumcision), including weddings,
funerals, baptisms and blessings, subject to the laws of your country,
state, or locality. Prior to conducting any civil ceremony (such as
marriages), you should know and comply with the laws pertaining to your
area of jurisdiction.
You are entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to
members of the clergy.
Your commitment is to always do the right thing. It is your responsibility
to peacefully and sincerely determine the right course of action, and to
avoid infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for
your actions as a minister.

Jungle Boy
02-23-2004, 03:07 PM
Religion is a crutch for the weak. I answer only to myself.:eek:

jackpunx
02-23-2004, 03:10 PM
OK.. Well.. This one time in band camp....
Alright.. My boat only goes 52 mph... Do you know any prayers where I may find my lost RPM's to achieve at least 65?

Rod-64
02-23-2004, 03:10 PM
I like your Nun in your avatar.:D

Hustler
02-23-2004, 03:11 PM
So I take it they were OK with your ongoing heroine use?:D

HalletDave
02-23-2004, 03:12 PM
Your commitment is to always do the right thing. It is your responsibility
to peacefully and sincerely determine the right course of action, and to
avoid infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for
your actions as a minister.
Jer,
That's a show stopper any way you look at it.;) :D

Tom Brown
02-23-2004, 03:13 PM
Originally posted by Hustler
So I take it they were OK with your ongoing heroine use?:D
Jesus!

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:19 PM
Originally posted by titties and beer
then their was this other time in church,i farted, and told the old lady next to me that my wife did it:D ,I'M I GOING TO HELL?
As long as the old lady never knew you were lying.... It's okay :D
In my church lying is only a sin if you get caught :D

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:20 PM
Originally posted by Hustler
So I take it they were OK with your ongoing heroine use?:D
Oddly enough Joe, it never came up in the interview..... I'd prefer it stay that way :eek: :D

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:22 PM
Originally posted by titties and beer
The lady next door leaves her blinds open and i can see in:D i have to stand on a chair to see :D
It's only a sin if you don't get pictures for the group here on the boards........ Now get the camera and get to work :D

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by jackpunx
OK.. Well.. This one time in band camp....
Alright.. My boat only goes 52 mph... Do you know any prayers where I may find my lost RPM's to achieve at least 65?
I'm beating you're missing 500 rpms.... This is common for those Posse members. Have you checked in Bigamist backpack? I think he my be hidingthem from you :D

mmered8299
02-23-2004, 03:24 PM
My Church is out on the water. I'll confess my Sins this summer!

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by mmered8299
My Church is out on the water. I'll confess my Sins this summer!
That's odd........ On the water is were I typically do my sinning :D

Tom Brown
02-23-2004, 03:29 PM
I have a confession.
I once pretended to be a religious zealot in the ***boat forums. :(
I stopped when a series of strange and unfortunate mishaps began occurring. The problems stopped immediately after I quit playing the bible thumping character. :confused:

ROZ
02-23-2004, 03:38 PM
Did you introduce your girlfriend to Pastor Kevin Andrews?

Rev. Williams
02-23-2004, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by RiverDave
You gotta be shittin me...
So your telling me that I can goto that website, fill out that little form of nothing.. and then everyone has to call me Father?
River"might be going to the Dark Side"Dave
You got it :D :D
Our buddy Chestah Cheetah was a fellow man of the cloth as well. Get to it Dave !! Think of the extra money you can make performing marriages at the river :D :D

ROZ
02-23-2004, 03:39 PM
Originally posted by Rev. Williams
Think of the extra money you can make performing marriages at the river :D :D
I think charging for confessions is a little more lucrative:D

Her454
02-23-2004, 03:48 PM
Originally posted by RiverDave
You gotta be shittin me...
Oh the language...thats 5 Hail Mary's for RD.....a little respect for this thread please. :)

al cole'holic
02-23-2004, 03:52 PM
I've murdered a priest before.

rivercrazy
02-23-2004, 03:54 PM
How come guys never go blind? :D

MudPumper
02-23-2004, 03:58 PM
Rev. Williams, I have a request. If you ever get the chance to hang out with Rev. Jesse Jackson or Rev. Al Sharpton can you kick them in the junk for me?????:D

ROZ
02-23-2004, 04:07 PM
So is half of HB now on the Universal Life Church's website becomming ministers? :eek: :D

25 Eagle
02-23-2004, 04:29 PM
Rev. Williams, I believe I have pissed off every DCB owner on here and probably Dave himself. I know HH hates me and my boat too. Is there any penance for me? Thanks

Mandelon
02-23-2004, 05:19 PM
What are the benefits, Jer? I mean do you get to use handicap parking spaces or what? :D

fourspeednup
02-23-2004, 06:06 PM
Forgive me father for I have sinned...
I enjoy masturbation and looking at pictures of breasts during said masturbatory period:D :D :D

JetBoatRich
02-23-2004, 06:40 PM
Jer, great idea for you to come on and help the HB group through your new found self righteousness:rolleyes:

LUVNLIFE
02-23-2004, 07:01 PM
The Luvnlifes are gonna have Jerry baptize Kiara and Josh. Jerry you better read that chapter in the manual.;)

LUVNLIFE
02-23-2004, 07:10 PM
And Jen says she wants to get married again. But I better check she didn't exactly say to me.:D :D

Mandelon
02-23-2004, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by titties and beer
DAMN IT ,I MISSED STEAK N BLOW JOB DAY:( is ok to do it tomorrow:D
No you didn't. Its the 14th of March!!!!!!!!

Kim Hanson
02-23-2004, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by Jungle Boy
Religion is a crutch for the weak. I answer only to myself.:eek:
I believe that way also......( . )( . )....But,I believe in God! I will be sent to hell for all the shit I have done:D

Blown 472
02-23-2004, 10:35 PM
You know those mormen whores for jesus, I want to **** some of those spunk dumpster in the ass then whipe my dick on her face.

Doug H.
02-24-2004, 12:24 AM
Let us all go down to our knees before we go to bed and say a prayer for............................................... ...............................one bad ass boobie bouncin, hair raisin, white knucklin, beer drinkin fun time this summer.....................Amen

LUVNLIFE
02-24-2004, 04:54 AM
Say that fast five times Doug and it comes true;)

Sand Dawg
02-24-2004, 05:49 AM
Amen Brother Doug...Amen..now for the Coor's Communion......it's Sunday some where....

Keithb87
02-24-2004, 06:46 AM
I've been Ordained for years now. ;) ;) ;)

Keithb87
02-24-2004, 06:48 AM
Originally posted by Mandelon
What are the benefits, Jer? I mean do you get to use handicap parking spaces or what? :D
Clergy Pass, The use of REV on your Drivers License, you can get to the scene of terrible accidents, :D

Havasu Hangin'
02-24-2004, 06:54 AM
Originally posted by 25 Eagle
I know HH hates me and my boat too.
Not true. I've come to the conclusion the Eliminator owners are people, too.
I think we all need to site around the campfire (holding hands) and sing "Kum-Ba-Ya".

HOSS
02-24-2004, 07:44 AM
**** you Rev.:mad:

Big Proppa
02-24-2004, 07:52 AM
Stop callling me daddy biotch - I'm your Father now.
who's you father, who's you father, who's your father
just doesn't have the same ring :D
Hey Rev williams - So now you can't hang out with any boys under the age of 18. :D :D

Rev. Williams
02-24-2004, 09:28 AM
Originally posted by Big Proppa
Hey Rev williams - So now you can't hang out with any boys under the age of 18. :D :D
I cleared this up in the Posse thread.......
My Reverenship only goes so far. I'm leaving the kids to Micheal Jackson and the Bishops.
I live by the words of Rev. Ernst Gallo ...... I will Tap no ass before it's time :D :D :D

Rev. Williams
02-24-2004, 09:31 AM
Originally posted by HOSS
**** you Rev.:mad:
:eek: Nice reply........ How about this, **** YOU HOSS!! :D

Rev. Williams
02-24-2004, 09:33 AM
Originally posted by Mandelon
What are the benefits, Jer? I mean do you get to use handicap parking spaces or what? :D
They have Reverend parking at Hospitals and court houses.

HOSS
02-24-2004, 10:33 AM
Originally posted by Rev. Williams
:eek: Nice reply........ How about this, **** YOU HOSS!! :D
couldn`t have said that much better myself.