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Froggystyle
02-27-2004, 06:25 PM
I got this e-mail from a freind of mine today. I really needed it. What a funny mother f#$%er.
"I just figured out something truly amazing! (because I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time (ha ha)
There where some ants on my night stand invading grape jelly I had not cleaned up. I sat there and watched the ants for a few minutes and was amazed at how they were able to find the jelly on top of my night stand.
Then it got me to thinking. An ant is about a 1/4 inch tall, which is about 1100 times smaller than an average person (trust me on that one). In order for an ant to get to the point it was on my night stand a few things had to happen.
An ant would have to somehow sense or smell that there was some jelly in a certain radius of where it was. Most ants live outside which is about 8 feet from my night stand. I figured out that an ant mile is approx. 1 ft. Now it is amazing that an ant can smell jelly eight miles away or more. What is even more amazing is that it is storming outside.
Picture this; your outside with water drops the size of elephants falling on your head your getting blown around by 3500 mph winds (you “an ant” only weighs 3 milligrams) so your holding on for your life. In the distance through a half a mile thick wall and 8 miles away on top of a 12,000 foot cliff you smell jelly in the storm. You are able to grab a couple of buddies and burrow through a mile of earth and come up in a building at exactly the right location. You cross eight miles of dense forested trees that are about 16-18 ft. tall (your carpet) by walking on top of the trees. You then come to a 12,000 ft sheer cliff and scale it to eat some jelly.
But you donÂ’t stop there. An ant can carry 10-50 times its weight or letÂ’s say about 700lbs. You load 700lbs. of jelly on your back and climb head first down a 12,000 foot cliff for the journey home!
I think we should somehow harness ant power or at least genetically enhance them to turn turbines in a power plant, what do you think? "

Screaming Pete
02-27-2004, 06:27 PM
Man you and the wife a getting freaky with the jelly, oh ya;)

Rexone
02-27-2004, 06:44 PM
Black Flag works pretty well.

1stepcloser
02-27-2004, 08:01 PM
Seems like an awful lot of work for some jelly.:(
I would more likely walk the forty or so unimpeded feet to the kitchen and get some peanut butter and milk to go with it.

AdrenelineOD
02-27-2004, 08:11 PM
I have ant power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

fourspeednup
02-27-2004, 08:11 PM
This is almost as good as the "pure acceleration" thread about the top fuelers:D

welk2party
02-27-2004, 08:19 PM
I was watching some nature show and saw ants that were a couple inches long with pincers. They actually bit the host and broke the skin. FREAKY!

Screaming Pete
02-27-2004, 08:27 PM
I think we need to get 78 elem take on this:eek:

Blown 472
02-27-2004, 08:45 PM
Why in **** is there grape jelly on the night stand??

fourspeednup
02-27-2004, 08:48 PM
Late night P and BJ:D

Blown 472
02-27-2004, 08:49 PM
Originally posted by fourspeednup
Late night P and BJ:D
I am going have to try that one.

JetBoatRich
02-27-2004, 08:54 PM
That was a cool comparison of ants to humans :)
if only we can get some people to work that hard, at least look like they are:D

Blown 472
02-27-2004, 08:55 PM
Originally posted by JetBoatRich
That was a cool comparison of ants to humans :)
if only we can get some people to work that hard, at least look like they are:D
Maybe you should get some jelly?

JetBoatRich
02-27-2004, 08:58 PM
Originally posted by Blown 472
Maybe you should get some jelly?
I do like my grape jelly:D

Outnumbered
02-27-2004, 10:55 PM
Originally posted by RiverDave
The only ants that I know of that are a 1/4 inch tall come from South America, and they can kill a man just by lookin at em.. ;) 1/4 inch = 250 thousandths.. that's one BIG god damn ant. Ants around my house are more like .050 aka 50 thousandths tall... on a good day without actually measureing one.. maybe .070.
RD
We have these huge friggin ants up here called Carpenter ants. The smallest ones are 1/4 inch. Most are close to 1/2 inch. Luckily, they like dead trees and not grape jelly.
Big-Ass Ants (http://www.ext.vt.edu/departments/entomology/factsheets/carpants.html)
Pretty interesting stuff you don't think of everyday Froggy.
Thanks
OL

al cole'holic
02-27-2004, 11:07 PM
I think you need to hire your friend and help him through this rough time with the glass he's on..:D

Froggystyle
02-28-2004, 02:14 AM
Damn Al... you about to hit 1000!

al cole'holic
02-29-2004, 08:02 PM
Originally posted by Froggystyle
Damn Al... you about to hit 1000!
..well, since you brought it up..here it is :D

JetBoatRich
02-29-2004, 08:04 PM
Originally posted by al cole'holic
..well, since you brought it up..here it is :D
congratulations you post *****:wink:

clownpuncher
02-29-2004, 08:15 PM
Originally posted by fourspeednup
Late night P and BJ:D
Peanut and Butter Jelly? :D

Dr. Eagle
02-29-2004, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by Froggystyle
Damn Al... you about to hit 1000!
Wholly shizzle, I gotta get whoring...