Debbolas
05-24-2004, 08:06 PM
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts
the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my
genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute.
He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In
return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a
drink. " The Crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his genitals in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but please don't hit me quite so hard on the head with the beer bottle."
Joke #2
(sorry fo the caps, I just copy and pasted it)
LAST YEAR I REPLACED ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE WITH THOSE EXPENSIVE DOUBLE-PANE ENERGY EFFICIENT KIND. BUT THIS WEEK I GOT A CALL FROM THE CONTRACTOR COMPLAINING THAT HIS WORK HAD BEEN COMPLETED A WHOLE YEAR AGO, AND I HAD YET TO PAY FOR THEM! BOY OH BOY, DID WE GO AROUND! JUST BECAUSE I'M BLONDE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AUTOMATICALLY STUPID!
SO, I PROCEEDED TO TELL HIM JUST WHAT HIS FAST-TALKING SALES GUY HAD TOLD ME LAST YEAR...THAT IN ONE YEAR THE WINDOWS WOULD PAY FOR THEMSELVES!
THERE WAS A SILENCE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE SO I HUNG UP AND I HAVEN'T HEARD BACK! GUESS I WON THAT STUPID ARGUMENT...
the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my
genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute.
He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In
return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a
drink. " The Crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his genitals in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but please don't hit me quite so hard on the head with the beer bottle."
Joke #2
(sorry fo the caps, I just copy and pasted it)
LAST YEAR I REPLACED ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE WITH THOSE EXPENSIVE DOUBLE-PANE ENERGY EFFICIENT KIND. BUT THIS WEEK I GOT A CALL FROM THE CONTRACTOR COMPLAINING THAT HIS WORK HAD BEEN COMPLETED A WHOLE YEAR AGO, AND I HAD YET TO PAY FOR THEM! BOY OH BOY, DID WE GO AROUND! JUST BECAUSE I'M BLONDE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AUTOMATICALLY STUPID!
SO, I PROCEEDED TO TELL HIM JUST WHAT HIS FAST-TALKING SALES GUY HAD TOLD ME LAST YEAR...THAT IN ONE YEAR THE WINDOWS WOULD PAY FOR THEMSELVES!
THERE WAS A SILENCE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE SO I HUNG UP AND I HAVEN'T HEARD BACK! GUESS I WON THAT STUPID ARGUMENT...