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Jbb
07-07-2004, 06:42 PM
Rules To Remember When Writing
Rules
1. Avoid alliteration always.
2. Never use a lengthy word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unneccessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't neccessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than neccessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Be more or less specific.
14. Understatement is always absolutely best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloqialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be
derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't never use a double negative.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember, always end it with a period
24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Verbs have to agree with its subject.
26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. A writer must not shift your point of view.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with).
30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their antecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
37. Always pick on the correct idiom.
38. The adverb always follows the verb.
39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

Lake Pirate
07-07-2004, 06:59 PM
The hawks of Bush II are not afraid of disorder in the pursuit of American dominance. They have no interest in any coalition — except their own. They see the international "we" as an impediment to joy — and to destiny. The Bush doctrine is animated by "the big I." That self-regarding doctrine, concocted by Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle back when W. was still merely a presidential gleam in Karl Rove's eye, preaches preventive pre-emptive preternatural pre-eminence.

Debbolas
07-07-2004, 07:04 PM
jeeeze...................River Pirate, can you say "Private Agenda"?
So pretty much any thread you post on is a Bush-Bashing post?!?

Lake Pirate
07-07-2004, 07:06 PM
Actually I googled for "worst sentence ever written" and that is what came up. I'm just lucky I guess.
http://www.cobranchi.com/archives/000447.html

Infomaniac
07-07-2004, 07:19 PM
You guys are insulting my intelligence.
Please quit pointing out the obvious.

Havasu Hangin'
07-07-2004, 07:21 PM
Where are the rules for posting a gramatically correct title?

Petrofied
07-07-2004, 07:22 PM
Pirate you do boat .......Right.......or should I say Left? :confused:

Lake Pirate
07-07-2004, 07:28 PM
Actually I googled for "worst sentence ever written" and that is what came up.

Dr. Eagle
07-07-2004, 07:34 PM
I just did the same thing on MSN and came up with the same blog...

beer hunter
07-07-2004, 07:44 PM
Originally posted by Infomaniac
You guys are insulting my intelligence.
Please quit pointing out the obvious.
I was going to say...err, type the same thing. To point out the obvious is merely redundant. ;)

Dr. Eagle
07-07-2004, 07:52 PM
Originally posted by Infomaniac
Please quit pointing out the obvious.
What's obvious?

welk2party
07-08-2004, 06:50 AM
Originally posted by JETBOAT BRIAN
Rules To Remember When Writing
Rules
1. Avoid alliteration always.
2. Never use a lengthy word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unneccessary.
.
.
.
.
Did no one notice that every item was an example of itself? That was good IMO

Jrocket
07-08-2004, 07:41 AM
Originally posted by Havasu Hangin'
Where are the rules for posting a gramatically correct title?
I guess nobody has caught that either.

eliminatedsprinter
07-08-2004, 12:13 PM
Originally posted by welk2party
Did no one notice that every item was an example of itself? That was good IMO
That's why it's funny. ;) :cool:

prop check
07-08-2004, 06:49 PM
funny, now put away yor theo-suarus :D