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1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you
are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
just think about how you call a dog ... "Killer, come here! I said get your
ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat ... "Bun-bun,
come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any
such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and
undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard
one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be hard, strong, black, and full aroma.
A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with
Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If
you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different
types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A
real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap
as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL,
college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you
know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're
dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.
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What a way to start off a Sunday morning! Did you have a close encounter of the fag kind this morning?
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Hey hairball, bring your dog over and get him NEUTERED by my cat. My cat can kick your dogs ass in a heartbeat..........Yeah, yeah yeah, I hear all the stories about bad ass dogs...So what? A cat on the prowl for prey would have your dogs gonades ripped and bleeding.............I don't need no asslicking dog to "compensate" for any "shortcomings"...........Homophobia is a disease, get some help............Try the Seaport Marina hotel in Long Beach...Someone there will help you in and out........MP
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Sounds like you are familiar with the locals MP.
Try the Seaport Marina hotel in Long Beach...Someone there will help you in and out........MP
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What a way to start off a Sunday morning! Did you have a close encounter of the fag kind this morning?
Just makin sure that all the fence sitters out there understand which side they fall on.:D :D
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Sounds like you are familiar with the locals MP.
August 05' the boat racers kinda took over a corner of the fag bar. We refused to pay the cover, were let in free, had our sodas,(remember, boat racers don't drink), enjoyed ourselves, and were never homophobic.....Well almost never, one gentleman with us was a little shocked to see a guy in hotpants dancing on the bar for tips into his g string. But another "soda" or two and he was fine with it as well......When you hang with cracker box people, fear, (and fags), stay away.......MP
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Just makin sure that all the fence sitters out there understand which side they fall on.:D :D
:eek: Some of them may not fall off the fence! They might just stay there because they like things up their butt! :220v:
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August 05' the boat racers kinda took over a corner of the fag bar. We refused to pay the cover, were let in free, had our sodas,(remember, boat racers don't drink), enjoyed ourselves, and were never homophobic.....Well almost never, one gentleman with us was a little shocked to see a guy in hotpants dancing on the bar for tips into his g string. But another "soda" or two and he was fine with it as well......When you hang with cracker box people, fear, (and fags), stay away.......MP
Hmmm.. sounds suspect to me.
1. you own a cat
2. you frequent gay bars
i think you pole vaulted over the fence:eek: :D :D :) :)
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So I have a six pack, whoopee shit ! I tried for the keg look and it just wouldn't attach to my belly :( My kids have a tomcat that will kick the shit out of most dogs out there! Now Merry Christmas, kiss my ass and fock off!.........I'm so nice during the festive season :D .........( . )( . )...........
