-
MARITAL BLISS
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife
smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector
went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me
over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife
says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt
on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "Why dont you please shut up!" The officer
looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you
this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
-
-
-
-
-
reminds me of another
Joe was cruisin down the highway at around 75 mph when the red lights went on behind him. He slowed down a bit to let the cop go by and in doing so, he realized he was being pulled over - Joe hit the gas - 70....75....80....90....100mph.
The chase went on for about 15 minutes when Joe noticed he was just about out of gas so he pulled over.
The officer got up to Joe's window and asked what that was all about, he just wanted to let Joe know his gas cap was off.
Joe explained to the cop "Well sir, it's like this"
"My wife ran off with a cop about 6 months ago, I thought you were that cop and you were trying to give her back"
-
-
I pulled over a guy for rolling through a stop sign the other day. After I advised him that he didn't make a complete stop at the sign, he stated, "But Officer, I slowed down?
Being the 3,563rd time I've heard that, I asked him to step out of his car. When he did I zapped him with my TASER. After the initial shock, I immediately zapped him again. And again. and again.
Finally I asked him, "Now, do you want me to slow down, or do you want me to stop?
:D
DISCLAIMER: This is a joke. It never happened. I don't treat people like that, nor would I ever even consider it. Don't write my boss, your congressman, or my mother. Chill. Don't get your panties in a bunch. It's just a joke.
-
"On The Next COPS HAVASU" Boatcop goes wild w Taser ,crowd cheers and begs for more as Blown 572 gets what they deserve!!!
-
Nice disclaimer there Boatcop. I was getting out my pen and paper. :D :D :D
