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T'was the night before Christmas and while at the shop,
I observed "Rattle Can Lou" drinking some shots.
Stumbling around and laying some tape,
He's been known to do his best work when he's in this fine shape.
Lines might be crooked, and some are to thin,
That's when I noticed Lou reached for the Gin.
He took a big gulp and fell to his kness,
Praying to God for some new ideas please!!!!.
I heard him squawk "i'm tired of spraying all red white & black",
My fans on these boards are beginning to think i'm a hack.
With that said he spun around and grabbed for the bottle of Jack,
Took another shot and fell flat on his back.
Realizing now he was in way over his head,
He got to his feet and stumbled for bed.
He called for his dog who's name is "Booker",
Patted him on his head and said "God I could sure use a cold beer and a big
breasted hooker".
With "Rattle Can Lou" passed out for the night,
I closed his door and shut off the booth light.
Tomorrow if we're lucky we'll start this all over again,
My "Buddy Lou" and his bottle of Gin.........
Merry Christmas "Rattle Can Lou".....Your the best!!!! :D :D :D
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You crack me up. :rollside:
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That is too funny!.. :D :D
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Billy B that is too damn funny. I can't wait for RCL to get into work and respond. Of course that will be around noon!
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LMAO, great work little Buddy!...........C'mon!
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... and they say paint fumes ar bad for ya :p Good job billy !
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Billy, if your paint skills leave U got something to fall back on :)
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OUTSTANDING work my friend!!! :D :D :D
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WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego. I would never accuse "Rattle Can Lou" of drinking on the job, much less think he could score a big breasted hooker :rollside: :rollside: :rollside: .
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WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego.
Think back my friend...Maybe this was a "Christmas Past" out of the Krazy Kolors shop????? :confused: :messedup: :messedup: :D
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Billy, Oh Billy, So funny youv'e become.
How low you have stooped, to hang out with the scum.
I'm just a lowly car painter stuck here in the slum.
But Lord all I ask is to get Ol' Billy some godamn gum.
With breath like Billy's, the eagles never fly.
The dark clouds won't part as long as Billy's standing by.
People gather around to hear his worthless bullshit fly.
But most just fall down, as they begin to cry.
As the audience gets smaller, poor Billy begins to see.
He looks around the room, his audience lays horizontally.
He yells those famous words "Hey Chief"
But no one moves around, He's lost in comic darknes, a lonely place to be found.
As his audience slides out the door, he has a thought like no other.
He remembers about a guy he knew, who had a funny brother.
He dials his cell phone frantically, he can't remember the number.
Dave Sammons yells out across the room "I think I gotcha covered."
From nowhere comes a guy, so studly it was sickening.
He yells across the room, "Let's get this party humping"
The liquor starts to flow, just like Billy might be buying.
But by the looks of "tight ass", we knew that wasn't flying.
This guy was amazing, all the girls seemed to want him. He was funnier than hell, and the laughter just kept comin.
He threw them jokes out, one right after another one.
He finished his jokes and gave them all a break, because over in the corner stood a cool Karaoke machine, just waiting for him to overtake.
He has done some singing in his sordid and varied career. In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there.
As he belts out "Fly me to the Moon" the chicks all begin to swoon.
As you listen, it's heard across the floor, Ol' Billy's gone to his room.
The moral to this little diddy is sometimes you need to be nice.
Because someone, somewhere, might be taking all your ice. ie Bling Bling.
So if you see this funny fat guy and you have a tendency to laugh. Please be aware that you might hurt Billy's feelings, if you give a crap.
RCL
Buddy Hackett
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In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there..
RCL
Buddy Hackett And to think this was a family secret that Pat had to cover for so long. And now you've gone public. First start to recovery CHIEF!!.
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WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego. I would never accuse "Rattle Can Lou" of drinking on the job, much less think he could score a big breasted hooker .
so whats wrong with a big breasted hooker? they must have em even in boise........ :) now that that ya mention it i would pass on a big breasted hooker in boise also lol
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WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego. I would never accuse "Rattle Can Lou" of drinking on the job, much less think he could score a big breasted hooker :rollside: :rollside: :rollside: .
Hey Billy,u know what they say about painters dont u.All painters are drunks,but all drunks are not painters :boxed: :idea:
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"God I could sure use a cold beer and a big breasted hooker
as a english major i was wondering if this was a literary metafor........u know a large brested PAINTED woman that takes money for lieing on her back........and a drunken PAINTER that takes money, gets drunk and lies on his back. just wondering!!!!!
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You guys are KILLIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got T.I.M.E's.= tears in my eyes!!............................................ ......C'mon! :hammerhea
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classic. thanks for the laughs. merry christmas.
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Billy, Oh Billy, So funny youv'e become.
How low you have stooped, to hang out with the scum.
I'm just a lowly car painter stuck here in the slum.
But Lord all I ask is to get Ol' Billy some godamn gum.
With breath like Billy's, the eagles never fly.
The dark clouds won't part as long as Billy's standing by.
People gather around to hear his worthless bullshit fly.
But most just fall down, as they begin to cry.
As the audience gets smaller, poor Billy begins to see.
He looks around the room, his audience lays horizontally.
He yells those famous words "Hey Chief"
But no one moves around, He's lost in comic darknes, a lonely place to be found.
As his audience slides out the door, he has a thought like no other.
He remembers about a guy he knew, who had a funny brother.
He dials his cell phone frantically, he can't remember the number.
Dave Sammons yells out across the room "I think I gotcha covered."
From nowhere comes a guy, so studly it was sickening.
He yells across the room, "Let's get this party humping"
The liquor starts to flow, just like Billy might be buying.
But by the looks of "tight ass", we knew that wasn't flying.
This guy was amazing, all the girls seemed to want him. He was funnier than hell, and the laughter just kept comin.
He threw them jokes out, one right after another one.
He finished his jokes and gave them all a break, because over in the corner stood a cool Karaoke machine, just waiting for him to overtake.
He has done some singing in his sordid and varied career. In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there.
As he belts out "Fly me to the Moon" the chicks all begin to swoon.
As you listen, it's heard across the floor, Ol' Billy's gone to his room.
The moral to this little diddy is sometimes you need to be nice.
Because someone, somewhere, might be taking all your ice. ie Bling Bling.
So if you see this funny fat guy and you have a tendency to laugh. Please be aware that you might hurt Billy's feelings, if you give a crap.
RCL
Buddy Hackett
Bad Iambic Pentameter!! :boxed:
Billy takes this one with a 1st round TKO.
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he blows Sinatra
some leg breaker may be on his way to boise right now for that one!
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Tony, I know where your allegirnce lies. Don't bust my balls that hard. And if you don't mind would you please decipher WTF you said. I'm just a wannabe painter from Bosie. I don't understand all that Californee talkin.
Lokin Good Louie
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It means your poem didnt flow Mr Lou!! :) :)
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AH Hah...no flowage. Yeah I reread it several times and if I read it to you it sounds good. If not, sounds bad. OK the score is 1 to zip Billy as per JBG. I'll live with that. I have a feeling that I'm going to get my ass handed to me on this deal. Oh well, the laughter from Billy Beavis was priceless.
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Dude, that was impressive.
Iambic pentameter is a meter in poetry. It refers to a line consisting of five iambic feet. The word "pentameter" simply means that there a five feet in the line; iambic pentameter is a line comprising five iambs. The term originally applied to the quantitative meter of Classical Greek poetry, in which an iamb consisted of a short syllable followed by a long syllable. The term was adopted to describe the equivalent meter in English poetry, where an iamb refers to an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. Iambic rhythms come relatively naturally in English. Iambic pentameter is among the most common metrical forms in English poetry: it is used in many of the major English poetic forms, including blank verse, the heroic couplet, and many of the traditional rhymed stanza forms.
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Lou, you are still top shelf with me!
Maybe you could try a Rap about Billy.
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Nice Billy. I think I saw an add in the help wanted section of the Times for a greeting card writer with the Hallmark Card Company over the weekend, you know a little extra cash flow for retirement. You must do pretty good with the little woman on Valintines day is all I can say. :) Merry Christmas Everyone!
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Dude, that was impressive.
Iambic pentameter is a meter in poetry. It refers to a line consisting of five iambic feet. The word "pentameter" simply means that there a five feet in the line; iambic pentameter is a line comprising five iambs. The term originally applied to the quantitative meter of Classical Greek poetry, in which an iamb consisted of a short syllable followed by a long syllable. The term was adopted to describe the equivalent meter in English poetry, where an iamb refers to an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. Iambic rhythms come relatively naturally in English. Iambic pentameter is among the most common metrical forms in English poetry: it is used in many of the major English poetic forms, including blank verse, the heroic couplet, and many of the traditional rhymed stanza forms.
See, you didn't need to pay attention in English class, it's all right there on
the internet. Now physics, that was a different story F=mA That was one
worth remembering
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The story's go AS the thinner flows. The paint is applied and so is the white lies ! the lines arn't straight, The color's are off! Hell its a whacker I can tell the guy to f- off !
There are Checks and scrapes and peels that resemble grapes ! This new h.v.l.p gun sure is alot of fun ,ohh my look at that one long run. The down draft booth was really a spoof, the texture on top looks like it was slung with a mop. The clear is being applied and to everyones surprize , It brought a tear to the painters eyes ! such talent With no regret -- Charge the sob - so i can buy a new vette !!! :yuk:
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NNIIIICCCEEE. as Billy would say. In fact I heard it last night....It was last night wasn't it Billy???
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The story's go AS the thinner flows , The paint is applied and so is the white lies ! the lines arn't straight - The color's are off - hell its a whacker - I can tell the guy to f- off ! there are Checks and scrapes and peel that resembles grapes ! this new hvlp gun - sure is alot of fun - ohh my loook at that one run.... , the down draft booth - Was really a spoof - the texture on top looks like it was applied with a mop - The clear is being applied and to everyones surprize - it It brought a tear to the painters eyes - such talent - With no regret -- Charge the sob - so i can buy a new vette !!! :yuk:Hey lucky, tell your kid to get off the computer and pay more attention to the teacher in his english class. This is really bad.. :220v:
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Hey lucky, tell your kid to get off the computer and pay more attention to the teacher in his english class. This ia really bad.. :220v:
Are you dating her 454 on the side ? lol :crossx: my english teacher was Hot , I enjoyed tutoring !lol
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RAttle can lou can paint with such precision !
what color, what can - what a hell of a decision
Saftey orange , blue berry pie - those are the colors from one hell of a guy !
His finger tips are colors of choice - When all of a sudden he hears a strange voice !
a vale paint job , Can be concieved - with red ruby black , and cinnimon sleeve ! a spray of honey bee yellow , and a dash of dark green - a lil bit of luck and I'll have painted this thing ! Dick would be proud of the job that i did - ohh ya billy , don't fock with this kid ! :crossx: Is That better my poetry proprieter ? :) chris
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a vale paint job , Can be concieved - with red ruby black , and cinnimon sleeve ! a spray of honey bee yellow , and a dash of dark green - a lil bit of luck and I'll have painted this thing ! i Is That better my poetry proprieter ? :) chrisWhat the hell are you doing!!!! YOU SUCK!!!! :rollside:
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YOU SUCK!!!! :rollside:
Tell him something he doesnt know...
:)
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Billy, This is worse than a Friday night phone call after a 4 hour stint at the local watering hole. You startred this whole deal and now you have to live with the fallout. This is like going to Hell and your still alive. I do expect a super cool JBG response to this poet hack...CCCMon
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Put the Beer down and push away from the keys..........aall of ya!
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Just for Rustoleum Lou
I've read these stanzas and withheld my puke
Even the retarded one Lucky has responded
while taking it in the duke
His feeble attempts to be a vdrive heavy hitter
have been met with negative reactions
but thats ok he still has Kim hittin him in the shitter
Lou gets a lil blitzed and becomes very needy
We all bow to his painting prowess
As he is the King of grafitti
Billy dances and dodges all of Lou's digs
He sits back and paints
and watches Lou smoke a carton of cigs
Lucky is butthurt cuz he is feelin no love
The vdrivers dont want him
and neither does anyone else so take your lame ass no spelling and non sensical BS to the sandbar or benchracers so we don't have to scroll past your jibberish and waste time while we are reading quality poems from Rustoleum grafitti King and Rockstar Billy.
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You have earned two "Dude, that was impressive" awards this week. I am fargin impressed. As for Billy, I will deal with him on the morning of the 15th at the "drivers meeting" Shit, I'm late for my poetry class....later
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:p :yuk: NICE :rolleyes:
THE CHOSEN FEW - oF THE WHO'S WHO! :rolleyes: MY FRIEND THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU ! tHE KING AND THE ACE - WILL ALWAYS TAKE 1ST PLACE , LEAVING YOU IN A RACE IS AS EASY AS TAKING OVER LAST PLACE ! - AS YOUR SWIMMING TO SHORE, WITH YOUR SUIT IN YOUR ASS - REMEMBER ONE THING,-- IT SUCKS TO GET PASSED :cry: ! A DRIVER REMAINS DRY AND HIS BOAT ON KEEL -- SO MY FRIEND TONEY , WHO IS REALLY A HEEL ?
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Leave the poem writing to the professional's, just kidding that's some funny stuff!! :rollside:
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Twas the night before painting
And all through the shop
Was Rattle Can Lou
waisted and ready to drop
Visions of Billy's work
danced through his head
as he layed there wishing
he was home in bed
In his mind he did dream
of how it should look
but ran out of talent
as he stood there and shook
Those all around him
stood there in amaze
wondering how old Rattle Can
got through the days
But old Rattle Can surprised
everone in the shop
when he stood one last time
before his final drop
As he layed there passed out
breathing heavy and deep
we all gathered round
and wished him a Merry Sleep.