-
Walking the dog....
A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mum replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbedthe dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time
around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes
later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about
halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her
home."
-
-
-
Thats funny............( . )( . ).............:cool: :D :D
Some helpful hints and who would think.....
*Budweiser beer conditions the hair
* Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
* Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 min
* Mayonnaise will KILL LICE , it will also condition your hair
* Elmer's Glue-paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any
* Shiny Hair-use brewed Lipton Tea
* Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
* Minor burn-Colgate or Crest toothpaste
* Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
* Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
* Bee stings - meat tenderizer
* Chigger bite - Preparation H
* Puffy eyes - Preparation H
* Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
* Stinky feet - Jell-O!!
* Athletes feet - cornstarch
* Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
* Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet.
* Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also
* Kool aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
* Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
* Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
* Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
* Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
* When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
* Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
* Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
* Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the t-shirt and soak
* Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and 1/2 cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
* A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
* To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
* Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
* To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
* Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with peanut butter!
* Baked on food -fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it.
Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
* Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
* Dirty grout - Listerine
* Stains on clothes - Colgate
* Grass stains - Karo Syrup
* Grease Stains- Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from batteries!
* Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
* To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin
* When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness. Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are:
Monday - Blue
Tuesday - Green
Thursday - Red
Friday - White
Saturday - Yellow
So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie - not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue - Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the one with the plastic clips have different colors.
You learn something new everyday!!!
..........( . )( . )................:rolleyes:
-
* When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
......i'm sure there's a few on here that could use that tip..:D
