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Thread: Australian accident report LMAO True Story!

  1. #1
    hot_diggity_dog
    Australian Bricklayer Report
    Possibly the funniest story in a long while.
    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. :2purples: This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.
    Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional
    information in Block 3 of the accident report form. :hammerhea
    I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.
    On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a
    barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
    on the sixth floor.
    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
    Due to my surpriseat being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up theside of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
    As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming up.
    This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
    The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen
    my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
    pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move! , I again lost my composure and
    presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty
    barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken
    legs. :2purples: I hope this answers your inquiry.
    Kind Regards,
    Mike Pashby
    OUCH
    HDD

  2. #2
    ahhell
    lmao....poor bastard :cry:

  3. #3
    Kachina26
    I remember that one from when there was no internet. My dad brought it home from work, I musta been 10. Just as funny today as it was then. :rollside:

  4. #4
    Propster
    The television show, Mythbusters, recently did an experiment to see if that story could actually happen. They got the bricks, a barrel, rope, pulleys, release mechanism and a crash test dummy to see if it could happen. Turns out, the hardest part was to get the barrel to break and drop the bricks. They had to seriously weaken the barrel to make it break. When they got the bugs worked out, it happened exactly how the story went. Too funny, even funnier to actually see it! That crash test dummy took a real beating.

  5. #5
    carbonmarine
    sounds like Wyle Coyote at The Acme Brick Yard!!
    Rick32

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