|--------------------------------------------|
| Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks |
| you are an ass. |
|--------------------------------------------|
|----------------------------------------|
| Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No |
| hard feelings," |
|----------------------------------------|
|-----------------------------------------|
| The proctologist called |
| ...they found your head. |
|-----------------------------------------|
|--------------------------------------------|
| Everyone has a photographic memory |
| ...some just don't have any film. |
|--------------------------------------------|
|----------------------------------------|
| Save your breath...You'll need it to |
| blow up your date. |
|----------------------------------------|
|-------------------------------------|
| Your ridiculous little |
| opinion has been noted. |
|-------------------------------------|
|---------------------------|
| I used to have a handle |
|on life..but it broke off. |
|---------------------------|
|---------------------------------------|
| WANTED: Meaningful |
| overnight relationship. |
|---------------------------------------|
|-------------------------------------------|
| Guys...just because you have one, |
| doesn't mean you have to be one. |
|-------------------------------------------|
|-------------------------------------------------------|
| Some people just don't know how to drive.. |
| I call these people "Everybody But Me," |
|-------------------------------------------------------|
|-------------------------------------------|
| Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating |
| His animal friends. |
|-------------------------------------------|
|-----------------------------|
| Don't like my driving? |
| Then quit watching me. |
|-----------------------------|
|------------------------------------------|
| If you can read this...I can |
| slam on my brakes and sue you. |
|------------------------------------------|
|---------------------------------------|
| Some people are only alive because it |
| is illegal to shoot them. |
|---------------------------------------|
|-----------------------------------------------------|
|Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and|
| fragile to be out by itself. |
|-----------------------------------------------------|
|------------------------------|
| Hang up and drive!! |
|------------------------------|
And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!
|-------------------------------------------------------|
| Welcome to America |
| ...now speak English |
|-------------------------------------------------------|