MARITAL BLISS
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife
smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector
went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me
over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife
says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt
on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "Why donÂ’t you please shut up!" The officer
looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you
this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."