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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then......"he sighed,"....let's put all these Frosted flakes back in the box."
lolHappy Monday!!
Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?
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More head room
So these to blondes walked into a building....................... sheesh, you think they woulda seen it!
HaHaHa That was funny...Happy Monday Back at ya
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, How much?
He doesnt hear her correctly and says Come again?
She giggles and says No its just mustard this time.
:2purples:
A cop pulls over a ditzy looking blonde driving a convertible and asks to see her license.
Whats that? she asks.
He explains that its the card proving she knows how to drive.
Oh, I have one of those, she says.
After checking her information in the squad car, the cop says, Im sorry, but Im going to have to give you a ticket.
Whats a ticket? she asks.
The cop thinks about it, looks both ways, and pulls out his dick.
The girl slumps in her seat and says, Oh, no. Not another Breathalyzer.
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, How much?
He doesnt hear her correctly and says Come again?
She giggles and says No its just mustard this time.
:2purples:
Too funny!!
This one is kinda long, but it's pretty funny!
Three blondes died in an accident trying to jump the Grand Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question.
The question posed by St. Peter is, What is Easter?
The first blonde replies, Oh, thats easy! Its the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are thankful.
Wrong!, you are not welcome here, Im afraid. You must go to the other place! replies St. Peter.
Then he turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question, What is Easter?
The second blonde replies, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her shes wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven.
He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, Do YOU know what Easter is?
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, I know what Easter is.
Oh? says St. Peter, incredulously.
Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.
Then the third blonde continues, Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter!
What does F*** OFF mean to a blonde?...
...Tie-breaker in a beauty contest! :jawdrop:
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