OH SHIT
That was good, didnt even see that....
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees
them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her
lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Sold."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that..that is way more than those two
things cost. I'm going to take you to church and
make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now"
OH SHIT
That was good, didnt even see that....
what nobody else liked this??????????
:2purples: Funny shiat!
lol nice one Jay
i thought priests only went for young boys?? DOH!!!!
good joke!
That was cool!
I have a priest joke but it will take time to type it....Stand by.
lol......
OK, here it is (kinda long):
On a weekday before Easter Father Smith is hearing confessions, and of course the line is long. The other two priests are not available for confessions and he cannot leave. As time wears on, Father Smith finds himself in need of relief so he looks out the back door of the confessional and sees Janitor Bill.
Bill, Father Smith calls. I have to relieve myself immediately but this line of parishioners is too long to just leave them; I need your help. Of course Father, what can I do? I need for you to hear a few confessions while I run to the restroom. Bill replies that he is not qualified to hear confessions. Father Smith reminds Bill that he has been in confession many times before and should know the routine. When Bill protests about not knowing the appropriate penance for sins, Father Smith shows him a list above the confessional window.
Bill finally agrees, takes his place and starts hearing confessions. A short time later a woman confesses to performing fellatio on a man not her husband. Bill looks for this on the list and doesnt find it. Panicked, he opens the back door of the confessional hoping to find Father Smith. Instead he only sees little Timmy, the altar boy.
Bill asks Timmy if he has seen Father Smith to which Timmy said no.
Bill then asks if Timmy knows what Father Smith usually gives for fellatio.
Without hesitation Timmy replies two Snickers bars.
One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt. "You know," he says, "if you firmed this up, we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she says to herself, "Better reply with silence."
The next morning, the man wakes up his wife with a pinch on the breast and says, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the crotch. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother."