AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
>
> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
> Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The
> blockage will be almost instantly removed.
>
>
> 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
> getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>
>
> 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
> toilet seat by simply using the sink.
>
>
> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
> yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in
> your veins. Remember to use a timer.
>
>
> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm
> clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
> after you hit the snooze button.
>
>
> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
> laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
>
>
> 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with
> a hammer and you will forget about t the toothache.
>
>
> Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
>
>
>
> You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
> If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
> If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
>
>
> Remember:
> Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>
> Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>
> If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
> another chance.
>
> And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never
> know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
>