Reply With QuoteD...i...l...l...i...g...a...f!!!???
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get
man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization
and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as the "Conservative movement". Other men who were weaker and
less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by
showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and
hair dressing. This was the beginning of the "Liberal movement".
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
became known as "girliemen". Some noteworthy liberal achievements
include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy,
group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),
but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw
fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated
hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That
is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and
created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of
the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded
immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss
them off.
D...i...l...l...i...g...a...f!!!???
Great one tom..................
Great one tom..................
Whats up there Mr Barry
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g314/riverracerxxx/thfc5932d3.gifLOLOL! THATS GREAT
Whats up there Mr Barry
Just sittin at work trying to sell some boats.....What's up with you....
I fokin hate liberals :devil:
Just sittin at work trying to sell some boats.....What's up with you....
Same ole' same ole'. Can't wait for the weather to warm up
Sadly, we won't find things stated quite this clearly in any of the history textbooks being used today.
That is one of my favorites. It sux working in an environment where you're surrounded by liberals.
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