Reply With QuoteMe personally I am keeping my daughters home till they are 30 yrs old 8pm. LOL If they are god kids no drugs, drunk driving or any other troubles, give them a chance.
I second that let them have some freedom until they prove they don't deserve it.
I dunno, being restraining on kids could end up with lies and sneaking out and what not.... or it might work, they like to know that you trust them so they can trust you, and not staying out past a certain time isn't show trust, but I'm sure whatever happens it'll work out for the better
Me personally I am keeping my daughters home till they are 30 yrs old 8pm. LOL If they are god kids no drugs, drunk driving or any other troubles, give them a chance.
I second that let them have some freedom until they prove they don't deserve it.
now it's 11:00 pm on weekdays and 12:30 pm weekends.
You want them home after lunch ?
C.T. :wink:
My G/f son is now 15 he goes to a private military prep school, the decision to send him there was declining grades, and the straw that broke the camels back was he got caught sneaking out at 100 am! the 2 years he has attended this school, he has the highest GPA in his class, went to state finals in track as a freshman, and has matured beyond our expectations, due to the leadership roles he has been placed in in school.
on weekends when he is home we are very lax with him within reason. he has earned our trust back.
If you trust they are obeying the law, and have specific place they are at , ie Movies , friends etc. relax and show you trust them. but , if they abuse your trust. show them the highway.
Also with them out of HS, make them pay some rent, $50 a week or so, they will realize its a bargain once they get to the real world.
Good luck
The're adults, tell them they can get their own place and come home as late as they want.
yep.... our son did not like the rules, got a job and has been doing great (after a few months of parent funded financial assistance) on his own since he was 18 (21 now), throwing them to the wolves is never a good answer, they DO still need all the support and re-inforcement you can give them to help them succeed.
do they have regular jobs? or are they hitting you up for spending $$
if they live at home and your paying their way then you get to make the rules.
if they live at home, have jobs, pay rent then your just their landlord.
My G/f son is now 15 he goes to a private military prep school, the decision to send him there was declining grades, and the straw that broke the camels back was he got caught sneaking out at 100 am! the 2 years he has attended this school, he has the highest GPA in his class, went to state finals in track as a freshman, and has matured beyond our expectations, due to the leadership roles he has been placed in in school.
on weekends when he is home we are very lax with him within reason. he has earned our trust back.
If you trust they are obeying the law, and have specific place they are at , ie Movies , friends etc. relax and show you trust them. but , if they abuse your trust. show them the highway.
Also with them out of HS, make them pay some rent, $50 a week or so, they will realize its a bargain once they get to the real world.
Good luck
Sent jr. to a military school and as much as he hated ant fought it,I just saw an interview where he said it made him what he is today. Discipline,rules and honor. Better than jail/prison
They're 18 and 19, they can vote, join the military and go off to war, but they have a curfew??
Do you trust them? That's what it is all about. If you trust them, then what's the problem? I am a parent, raised a boy and a girl, they are now 38 and 28. They are both good solid citizens. Sure they did some things that I sure didn't want to know about but after high school it was their responsibility. If they screwed up then they had to face the consequences. Its the same with yours. If they get caught drinking, doing drugs, what ever, they are going to be the ones to pay.
If you are that concerned (as all of us parents are), then get them each one of those cell phones that has a GPS tracking feature that they can't turn off. Then you can track them on the web day and night. If they drive the family car there are also GPS tracking devices you can install in the car that not only tell you where they are but also tell you their speed and mileage.
It's all about control. As a parent you have been in control for 18/19 years. It is very hard to let go. I know my wife and I went through hell at first when our kids moved out and went to college. But you have to let go eventually and now is the time ot start. Let them begin to take control of their own lives. They will find out soon enough it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Just make sure you let hem know that trust is earned and depends on honesty. If they are honest with you then you will continue to trust. If they lie or cheat, well then, as others said, tell them to get a job and their own place. And stick to it. THey don't understand yet, even at 18 how hard it is out there on your own. They will soon find out.
Think about this: somewhere around the age of 21 -25 people suddenly realize their parents weren't so dumb after all. I know I did, and I know my kids did. And I am sure your's will too.
do they have regular jobs? or are they hitting you up for spending $$
if they live at home and your paying their way then you get to make the rules.
if they live at home, have jobs, pay rent then your just their landlord.
the oldest goes to college and plays football the other just gradated high school and will attend college in the fall
As has been said, it is your house so it is your rules they must abide by. If they do not like it, don't let the door hit them on the way out.
That being said, after I turned 18 the curfew went to 2 AM and if I was going to be any later than that my ass better have called to let mom and dad know. It seems weird looking back on it now being an 'adult' and having a curfew but I was living at home for free and they were paying for college.....
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