I had 18 bottles of whisky in the cellar, and my wife told me to get rid of them or else! She told me to open every bottle and empty the contents down the sink and so that is the unfortunate task I am now doing. I drew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, except for one glass which I drank. Then likewise with the second bottle, down the sink except for one glass, which I drank. I withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whisky down the sink, which I then drank, then pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it then threw the rest up the glass. Then I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle, corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour. Now I have everything emptied, I sink. I steadied the house with one hand and counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other. It came to 79 or maybe 65. Next time the house came by, I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I am not half as thunk as you might drink now, but I fool so feelish I don't know which is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get...