Reply With QuoteLMAO!!
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenley, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"what the hell do you think you are doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I 'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
" Well ,I'm a Lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
LMAO!!
I have...
Having been on the receiving end of a "lawyer screwing" I found this funny as chit! Good one. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!
Why do lawyers wear neck ties?
To hold the foreskin down
Originally posted by Force 26
Why do lawyers wear neck ties?
...
To hold the foreskin down
Too funny, I gotta remember that one
Q: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
Skeet.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?
New Jersey had first choice.
When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
Because down deep, they are all nice guys.
A restaurant full of lawyers was held hostage.
The bad guys threatened that, until all their demands were met, they would release one lawyer every hour.
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he swerved to hit him and there would be a loud "THUMP". Then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along the road he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over.
"Where are you going, Father?" The truck driver asked.
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road", replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck".
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road. Instinctively he swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so he swerved back to the road and narrowly missed the lawyer. Certain he should've missed the lawyer, the truck driver was very surprised and immediately uneasy when he heard a loud "THUMP". He felt really guilty about his actions and so turned to the priest and said, "I'm really sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer".
"That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
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