Seems like the Bench Racers
Have gathered in force
To banter and spar
And beat a dead horse
Too bad they are slow
And don't even race
Butt they really enjoy
A shot in the face
Some have brown boats
Others are pink
Some claim they're fast
But talk with a wink
There's even some reptiles
Among the fast talkers
But when the smoke clears
Most will be balkers
If I were a prophet
I'd say with some clarity
A fast boat at the lake
Is truly a rarity
Most talk a big game
And puff out their chest
But come time to race
They can't find their vest
They talk of big numbers
Running the sevens
At the end of the day
They're pushin elevens
Many are stuck
On talkin bout butts
Meantime real racers
Are kickin their nutts
Get the boats ready
Time is real short
CFW is close
And most will abort
Old Rattle Can Lou
Has taken a beating
And now his accusers
May even be cheating
I wish him the best
And holiday wishes
Even if ol Santa
Must swim with the fishes
As far as who's fast
I ain't no wizard
If I had any coin
It would be on the Lizard
You may think he's bogus
Home smokin a joint
But come New Years Day
He'll get right to the point
To all who would read
This little bite
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good fight